第三文化的孩子们:无处为家,处处是家。The Third Culture Kids

第三文化

“第三文化的孩子”一词是由美国社会学家Ruth在1950年代所提出的,因为这些孩子并不是在他们父母所来自的国家长大的。全球化使‘第三文化孩子’更常见。

(图片版权:getty images)

When children come to the end of their time at Garden International School in Kuala Lumpur, they receive a leaving kit. Inside: a sour sweet, a length of ribbon, a paper clip, a sponge and a rubber band.

当孩子们在吉隆坡花园国际学校结束课程的时候,他们收到了一个离别工具包。里面包括了:一个酸糖果,一条丝带,一个曲别针,一块海绵和一条橡皮筋。

The items were chosen to prompt discussion about what leaving means — bittersweet emotions, tying up loose ends, and making memories. Every departing child is also recognised during school assembly.

选择这些物品的原因是为了引出关于离别意味着什么的讨论–是苦乐参半的情感,把尚未处理好的事情处理好,以及留下难忘的回忆。在开校会时, 每一个即将离开的孩子都会被提及。

“We want to help them understand how important it is to say goodbye,” says Mariella Vittetoe, head of counselling at the school, which teaches a British curriculum. “If we have closure in this place, we will be able to have a smoother transition.”

马里拉是这所教授英国课程的学校的心理辅导负责人。她表示:“我们想帮助孩子们明白道别的重要性。”“如果在这里有个完满的了结,我们会有个更顺畅的过渡。”

About 65% of the Garden School’s 2,000 children come from countries outside Malaysia. For many, it’s not their first experience living overseas.

花园学校2000个孩子中的65%是来自马来西亚以外的国家。对他们中的很多人来说,这并不是他们的第一次海外生活经历。

“We are constantly in transition,” adds Vittetoe, who is from Honduras. “Kids are coming and going all the time.”

来自洪都拉斯的Vittetoe补充道:“我们一直都在过渡中,(因为)孩子们总是处于你来我往的状态。”

“They are more flexible and better able to cope with change”

他们能更灵活更好地应对变化

These are Third Culture Kids (or TCKs), a term coined by US sociologist Ruth Hill Useem in the 1950s, for children who spend their formative years in places that are not their parents’ homeland. Globalisation has made TCKs more common.

“第三文化的孩子”一词是由美国社会学家Ruth在1950年代所提出的,因为这些孩子并不是在他们父母所出生的国家长大的。全球化使‘第三文化孩子’更常见。

Mostly, they are children of expatriate workers, but they can come from transnational marriages, or — as is increasingly common in Asia — attend an international school in their home country. TCKs often develop an identity that’s rooted in people rather than places.

他们大部分是侨民的孩子,但他们也可能源自跨国婚姻,或者他们是在自己的国家上国际学校,这在亚洲越来越常见。第三文化的孩子们往往会树立源自对人而不是对地方的身份认同感。

Keeping an open mind

保持开放的心态

Philippa Matthew spent 14 years travelling. Her children, now young adults, grew up in a series of postings that took the family from Britain to the US, Indonesia and Norway. Matthew says her son and daughter enjoyed a privileged upbringing, but one that also gave them a better understanding of the world.

Philippa Matthew在过去14年里到处游历,她的孩子现在都已成人。他们在一系列的派驻中长大,从英国到美国,印度尼西亚和挪威。Matthew表示她的儿子和女儿不仅享受到了优越的成长条件,同时也让他们更好地了解这个世界。

“It does end up marking them as different when they return, but they have to live with that,” she explains over coffee in Kuala Lumpur, where she and her husband moved last year. “[Their upbringing] sets them up to be more flexible and better able to cope with change.”

“在他们回去后,这些生活经历的确会让他们变得与众不同,这是他们需要面对的事实。”她在吉隆坡的一个咖啡馆里边喝着咖啡边解释道,她和她的丈夫在去年才搬到了这座城市,“他们的成长过程让他们能更灵活更好地应对改变。”

“Most Third Culture Kids made their first move before the age of nine”

大多数第三文化的孩子在九岁前就有了第一次搬家

A 2011 online survey by Denizen, a publication targeting TCKs, found most of the 200 participants made their first move before the age of nine and had lived in an average of four countries.  Most had degrees — 30% had a postgraduate qualification — and 85% spoke two or more languages. Those attributes help make TCKs attractive to employers.

2011年,Denizen组织的专门以第三文化的孩子为调查目标的网上调查显示,在200个参与者中,大多数人在九岁前就有了第一次的搬家经历,并且他们平均住过四个国家。他们中的大多数人都获取了学位,其中30%有硕士或以上学位,85%能说两种或以上的语言。这些特质让他们深受雇主的青睐。

 

The skills gained from living abroad can make Third Culture Kids very employable

在国外生活得到的技能使第三文化的孩子更受雇主青睐

Notable TCKs include outgoing US President Barack Obama, who was born to a Kenyan father and American mother, and moved to Jakarta after his mother married an Indonesian. British actor Colin Firth lived in Nigeria, where his father worked in education, as well as in the US.

著名的第三文化的孩子包括即将卸任的美国总统贝拉克·奥巴马,他的父亲是肯尼亚人,妈妈是美国人。后来他的妈妈嫁给了一个印度尼西亚人,他们移居到雅加达。英国演员科林菲尔斯就曾在尼日利亚和美国住过,他的父亲曾在这两个国家从事教育工作 。

 

Home is ‘everywhere and nowhere’

处处是家,同时也无处为家

American sociologists David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken published Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds,  in 1999. Although Pollock died in 2004, Van Reken continues to research and lecture. She says TCKs are more likely to speak more than one language, have a broader world view and be more culturally aware. But she warns life as a TCK can create a sense of rootlessness and restlessness, where home is “everywhere and nowhere.”

美国社会学家David Pollock和Ruth Van Reken 在1999年出版了《第三文化的孩子:在世界中成长》。尽管Pollock在2004年去世了,Van Reken 继续着调研和演讲。她表示第三文化的孩子更有可能说不止一门语言,具有更开阔的国际视野并且更具有文化意识。但是她也警告说这些孩子会缺少归属感和不安感,“处处是家,同时也无处为家。”

When it gets hard

当情况变得困难

The repeated losses caused by regular moves can trigger anxiety and stress among TCKs, according to Lois Bushong, a family therapist based in Indiana in the US. She specialises in working with TCKs and wrote Belonging Everywhere and Nowhere; Insights into Counseling the Globally Mobile.

根据美国印第安纳州的家庭治疗师Lois Bushong的说法,经常性的搬家造成的缺失感会令第三文化的孩子焦虑和备受压力。 她专门从事第三文化孩子的心理咨询工作,并撰写了《无处不在与无处可寻的归属感》和《全球移居心理咨询解析》。

Many expatriates are on finite contracts as short as two years, forcing children to leave close friends and make new ones on a regular basis. The upheaval can also take its toll on those left behind.

许多移居国外的人签的都是有限合同,有的只有短短两年,这就迫使孩子们经常要离开亲密朋友,并要不断结识新朋友。这些突变也会对留下的朋友造成不利影响。

Third Culture Kids, for whom home is everywhere, and nowhere. Matthew recalls the biggest jolt for her children came when they returned to Britain as teenagers. Their new schools didn’t have the transition support programmes found in international schools, and her children couldn’t talk about their experiences without their new classmates perceiving them to be showing off.

Matthew回忆道她的孩子们在青少年时期返回英国时所经历的最大的震撼。他们的新学校没有像国际学校那样有过渡阶段支持项目,所以她的孩子们在谈论他们的经历时往往会让他们的新同学们觉得他们是在炫耀。

(图片版权:getty images)

“It’s definitely a lot easier moving to an international school because everyone’s in the same boat,” her son Chris recalls of that time. “Making friends when I moved back to Aberdeen at 16 was the hardest because everyone else there had been at school together since primary.”

她的儿子克里斯回忆道,“上国际学校肯定会容易很多,因为大家都处境相同”。 “在16岁回到阿伯丁时,结交朋友是最为困难的,因为其他人从小学时开始就已经在一起上学了。”

It was a similar experience for Gillian Tapp, now 18 and a student at Northeastern University, when she returned home to the US after three years in Amsterdam. She was 14.

Gillian Tapp也有着相同的经历,14岁时她从待了3年的阿姆斯特丹回到美国。 现在她18了, 是东北大学的一名学生。

“Everyone knew everyone and no one knew me”

大家都彼此认识,但没有人认识我

“I switched from a school with a super welcoming new student program to a school where I was the first new kid in years,” she says. “Everyone knew everyone and no one knew me. They were in a bubble and being friends with the new girl from Amsterdam who didn’t necessarily understand American fashion, and allegedly had an accent, was not one of their priorities.”

她表示,“我从一个有着新学生项目的让人觉得超级受欢迎的学校转到了另一所学校,在那里我是多年来第一个新转来的学生。” “大家都彼此认识,但没人认识我。他们生活在一个气泡中,对他们来说,和一个来自阿姆斯特丹的、不太了解美国时尚的、说话还带着口音的新女孩做朋友,自然不是件他们会优先考虑的事儿。”

Coping with transition

应对过渡

Parents often try to minimise disruption by scheduling moves around school terms, key exams and major transitions (junior to senior, for example).

家长常常会避过学期,关键考试和主要过渡阶段(例如初中到高年级)来安排搬家从而尽量减少干扰。

Counsellors note that problems are more likely to emerge around the ages of nine or 10, when friendships become more central to a child’s identity, and especially during teenage years. Kids can become withdrawn, isolating themselves from their classmates, or become angry, lashing out at those around them.

心理咨询师注意到,问题更可能出现在九岁或十岁左右的孩子身上,当友谊变得对孩子的身份认同感更为重要时,特别是在青少年时期。 孩子们会变得内向,孤僻,或者变得愤怒,容易对周围的人发泄不满。

A small part of my own heart was torn out each time I had to tell close friends goodbye

每次不得不和亲密的朋友说再见时,我都觉得的心被撕碎了

(图片版权:getty images)

Bushong grew up as a missionary child in Latin America, and remembers repeated farewells: “I felt as if a small part of my own heart was torn out each time I had to tell close friends goodbye, knowing that I would probably never see them again.”

Bushong是在拉丁美洲长大的一个传教士的孩子,她清晰地记得自己经历的那些告别情景:“每次当我不得不与亲密的小伙伴说再见的时候,都感觉我的心被扯碎了,因为我知道我可能再也见不到他们了。”

She encourages discussion within families to understand how everyone’s coping with the move. “Observe your children and if you see them acting abnormal(ly) or withdrawing, talk to them about what is going on,” Bushong says in an email. “Listen and validate the feelings of grief.  This will help them move forward.”

她鼓励通过家庭成员间的讨论来了解彼此是如何应对搬家的问题。Bushong在一封电子邮件中说, “观察你的孩子,如果你看到他们表现异常或孤僻,那就跟他们谈谈发生了什么。” “要倾听并认同他们的悲伤。这将有助于他们开始新的生活。”

That may be more difficult in some situations. Children brought up in difficult environments, perhaps where there are incidences of violent crime, kidnapping or political unrest, may be at risk of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Ignoring potential problems can also store up trouble for later, when the TCK becomes an adult.

在一些情况下这可能会更麻烦。在暴力犯罪发生率高,绑架或政治动乱的恶劣环境下长大的儿童,可能面临创伤后精神紧张症(PTSD)的风险。 忽略这些潜在的问题会使麻烦积累,从而使第三文化的孩子在成人后会遭遇更大麻烦。

“If an individual has had a difficult experience in childhood and hasn’t been able to make sense of that, that can be carried into adult life,” cautions Kate Berger, a New Yorker who moved to The Netherlands to study and now runs the Expat Kids Club, working with schools and families handling international transitions. Still, she’s keen to emphasise that most TCKs benefit enormously from their childhood experiences.

“如果一个人在儿童时期有不好的经历,并且不能理清这些问题,那就会影响到他们成年后的生活,”Kate Berger警告道。她是纽约人,后来到荷兰学习,现在经营 着侨民子女俱乐部,通过与学校和家庭的合作,处理孩子国际过渡问题。尽管如此,她仍强调,大多数第三文化的孩子从他们的童年经历中受益匪浅。

Growing support

越来越多的支持

Luckily for 21st century TCKs there is more support than ever before. Over the past two decades, schools have beefed up counselling services and increasingly provide assistance to children from the time they arrive to the time they leave.

幸运的是,21世纪的第三文化的孩子比以往任何时候都享受着更多的支持。 在过去二十年里,从学生步入学校那一刻开始到最终离开,学校加强了心理咨询服务,并且提供着越来越多的帮助。

While moving countries can be disruptive, most third culture kids benefit from their childhood experiences

虽然搬家会带来不良后果,但大多数第三文化的孩子能从他们的童年经历中获益

Jack Rice, 13, started at the Garden School two months ago after his parents joined the teaching staff. Born in the UAE, Jack’s lived in Saudi Arabia, Thailand and Qatar, but has joint British-Canadian citizenship and sees himself as Canadian. He admits it took a while to settle in, even with a helping hand, but a school camp to a jungle location outside Kuala Lumpur finally helped him bond with his classmates.

杰克·赖斯,13岁,在他的父母成为教职员工后,已经在花园学校学习了两个月了。他出生在阿联酋,但在沙特阿拉伯,泰国和卡塔尔居住过,有着英国和加拿大的双重公民身份,认为自己是加拿大人。 他承认需要一段时间来适应,哪怕在别人的帮助下,但学校组织的在吉隆坡郊外的丛林的露营终于让他和同学打成一片。

(图片版权:getty images)

“Most of them have gone through the same things as me,” he says with a hint of a North American accent. “They’ve had to move again and again.”

“他们中的大多数都和我有一样的经历,”他带着些许北美口音说道, “大家都要不停地搬家。”

 

 

作者:Kate Mayberry  翻译:Jane(杰特教育) 校对:Lusa(杰特教育)

原文链接:http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20161117-third-culture-kids-citizens-of-everywhere-and-nowhere

背景知识:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_culture_kid

 

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